Wednesday, August 20, 2014
Wednesday, July 16, 2014
We’re all pretty hard on ourselves when it comes to our weight. I’m pretty sure it comes with the territory of being a woman. So when someone else decides to comment on it, and put you down for it? That’s when it becomes heartbreaking. Especially coming from someone who you thought loved you.
For the past few months, I’ve had to deal with that pain. I’ve had to listen to someone tell me that I need to lose weight. That I need to be a certain number on the scale to be a part of their life. That I need to be their size, or smaller, to look normal with them. That I need to lose weight like some girl they work with – she lost weight over the summer and looks incredible, so why haven’t I? I need to make a schedule and work out those days. They are embarrassed to take me places. Yes, all of those things have been said to me, plus more, numerous, numerous, times.
This person claims it’s only because they care and want me to be healthy.
I’m not stupid. I don’t believe them.
And all of this has really made me hate myself and my body even more. It has made me gain even more weight. Because really – who loses weight when someone they love is hounding them, and bullying them? No one. It makes them feel terrible, and want to eat more. It makes them do the very thing that made them fat in the first place – eat their feelings.
This blog is not a only a weight loss blog, but a place for me to heal. A place for me to find myself, to find inner peace….to find my inner butterfly. I don’t believe that can happen when someone like this is present in my life. But how can I shut them out of my life? This person has been a constant in my life for more than three years. This person has been the only person who I’ve done things with – I’ve spent about 95% of my time with this person for 3 long years. All of my friends are married, have families, etc. What happens when I let go?
I will be alone. Completely alone. With no one to go out with on the weekends. No one to talk to. How can I meet other people when I have friends who have their own lives, and their own priorities?
How do I let go? How do I move on? All I know is I don’t want to be in this place anymore. I want to change my life, and move it in a positive direction. I feel stuck. That no matter what I do, I will be miserable.
And this is where I’m at….right this moment.
Friday, July 11, 2014
Hello hello….last time I blogged, I was getting ready to go out of town for a nice week-long vacation. It was certainly nice. Not so nice to my waist line though.
Pretty sure everything I’ve done so far with my Max Weight Loss Challenge went down the drain. My diet spiraled out of control beginning on Friday the 4th. And it’s still out of control. I feel bloated and disgusting. And exercise? Pfft. What exercise?
Story of my life.
I did enjoy my vacation, but it’s time to get back at it. I’ll be starting week 3 on Monday of my workout plan (even though it’s technically week 4…..or is it 5? I’ve lost count). And well….food. Food is always such an issue. I really wish I was one of those skinny bitches who could eat whatever she wants and not gain a pound. But sadly I am not one of them. This food thing has become all about trying 420394580928345 different things, only to find out it’s “not for me.”
I’m beginning to think nothing is for me. :)
But. I just gotta keep truckin’. And truckin’ I will.
Have a great weekend friends!
Wednesday, July 2, 2014
It’s a new month, and I thought I’d start making some monthly goals for myself, both to help me find “my inner butterfly” and to help with the weight loss. Here are the goals for this month….
1. READ ONE BOOK
I don’t care if it’s on my Nook, or an actual good old book. But I used to read so much. When I was younger, my grandpa would always take me to the book store for my birthday. I would always come out of there with a TON of books – we’re talking like 10-15 books (which I’d finish within about a month, ha!). Books have always been enjoyable to me, but I have not put aside time for this at all lately. Time to change that!
2. TRACK CALORIES/MACROS IN MFP EVERY DAY
I mentioned in my last post that I’m following the Skinny Meg challenge on Facebook. Meg has recommended counting macros. Though I’m not sure I really want to get that number-crazy, I am going to make it a goal to track what I’m eating every day….and keep an eye on the macros part.
3. NO STARCHES AFTER 3PM
This is part of a plan I’m following. I am always eating so crappy at night. Time to kick it up a notch!
4. FOLLOW MY WEEKLY WORKOUT SCHEDULES
As you know, each week I’m posting my weekly workout schedules for the Maximum Weight Loss Challenge I created. I want to keep up with the schedules as much as possible. This week and next week will be a struggle, of course.
5. READ “JUMP…AND YOUR LIFE WILL APPEAR”
This is in addition to the one book I want to read in #1. This is one of those goals that will eventually help me find “my inner butterfly.”
I think these are all do-able, and I look forward to seeing where I’m at at the end of this month! I’ll also be doing a mid-month check-in around the 15th.
What are your goals for July??
Tuesday, July 1, 2014
I think the excitement of the 4th of July, and boyfriend’s surprise for his birthday coming up on Thursday, is making me go off track. Celebrating usually means ALL THE FOODS for me. Heck, everything means ALL THE FOODS for me. Whether I’m celebrating, happy, sad, bored, lonely, excited; anything. I did workout last week, and I’ll get to that in a minute, but this week is not starting off so great. I think another part of it is that I know that I’m not going to have time to workout or do much starting July 3 – 9. July 3 I’ll be taking my boyfriend somewhere for his birthday (I’ll go in to more detail later), then on the 4th we’ll be going to my hometown for the parade and heading up north to the cabin right after that. We won’t be back until the 9th.
SO…that kind of throws my schedule, um….off schedule? I’m not sure what I’m going to do yet. I may repeat part of last week today and tomorrow, and then finish off part of last week’s schedule when I get back next week. If you were not totally confused by that, I commend you.
Anyway. So here’s how I did last week.
Review of Week 2
I only worked out 3 days. I really need to work on keeping my motivation going through the entire week. But when I did work out, it was HARD. I gave 110%, and it shows with the sweaty mess I turned in to….
Sweat was literally dripping down my back and legs.
The cardio workouts I did were Party Rockin Step #1, Step Blast, and Drill Max Premix 1. By Wednesday, my body was just tired. I could not get through the entire workout, but was happy with what I did. Then I also did 3 of the 4 weight workouts: Lower Body + Burn Sets Shoulders, Burn Sets Chest/Back/Core (couldn’t get through all of the core portion), and Burn Sets Biceps/Triceps. The weight workout I missed was kind of a full body day.
I got a little bored with my meals last week. But here’s what I ate….
Breakfasts were Almond Butter Banana Protein Pie
Mid-morning Snacks were Sour Cream and Onion Pop Chips
Lunches were Clean Protein and Veggie Stir-Fry (LOVED this)
Afternoon Snacks were mixed fruit (watermelon, strawberries, and grapes)
Dinners were chicken and side salad (this is where I got really bored)
Like I said, I’m still working through the plan for Week 3 (this week), so that will come later….maybe. This week hasn’t started off too great. BUT – I did join Skinny Meg’s challenge on Facebook, and will expand on that a little more later on too.
For now, happy Tuesday folks!
Wednesday, June 25, 2014
Sorry I wasn’t here to update my progress for last week, or to update with my new weekly schedule. Life just gets in the way sometimes, and I’m way busy now that summer has rolled around. But I’m here, so that counts for something!
Review of Week 1
Last week I only got workouts in two days. But hey, I’m not complaining, because that’s more than what I’ve been doing for the last several months. High five for me!
Meals went pretty well. I had a few slip-ups once the weekend came around, but I do have to say, I really watched my portions, and only ate until I was full. I actually threw away quite a bit of food after a couple meals, so I was really excited that that happened. Each week, I kind of come up with a plan of what I’m going to eat for each meal. It was mostly the same all week. Once I got to Friday, though, I treated myself to some Culver’s for lunch. And it was oh so worth it!!
Breakfasts were Almond Butter Banana Protein Pie from Liz’s blog (recipe here).
Mid-Morning Snacks were Trader Joe’s White Cheddar Puffs, and half of a Clif KidZ Bar
Lunches were something I came up with – chicken sandwich on a ciabatta roll with whipped cream cheese, strawberries, and spinach. They were yum! I also had mixed fruit on the side.
Afternoon Snacks were the other half of the KidZ Bar and more mixed fruit.
Dinners were grilled hamburger patties on a lettuce “bun” with corn on the cob and small salad on the side.
I think I did pretty darn well!
This week will be a little more tough on the workout front.
Standing Leg Pyramid Lower Body + Burn Sets Premix 5 (Shoulders)
Burn Sets Premix 13 (Chest, Back, and Core)
Burn Sets Premix 2 (Biceps, Triceps, and Core)
TIU Love your Legs & Booty + Cross Train Xpress Upper Body Split Premix
Looks tough, I know. My body is already screaming at me. The weight workouts I’ve done so far are heavy weights, so my arms, chest, legs, and butt are on fire – which is a good thing!
On a completely unrelated note, here’s a picture of my hometown. This was from Sunday afternoon. On Monday, the water was over the sidewalk and creeping on to the street.
Hopefully it gets under control soon. A big 4th of July celebration is coming to town (it’s the oldest and largest celebration in the state). On the other side of that bridge is where we always watch the parade, and the small coffee shop that’s over there is completely under water! I feel terrible for them. But I believe it’s already crested, and the river is on its way down again!
That’s it for today – happy Hump Day!!
Wednesday, June 18, 2014
What exactly am I doing? I created a “Maximum Weight Loss Rotation” full of workouts for 12 weeks. They’re hard, and there’s a lot. It starts off a little slow, then quickly moves to 1-2 workouts/day. Along with this, I also purchased the Tone It Up Nutrition Plan. I absolutely love it, and I think that it was worth the $150 I spent on it.
I really do recommend it. The only thing I don’t like is that most of the recipes just aren’t “me,” if that makes sense. So I’m taking the core of the plan and adding my own spin to it.
Anyway, here’s the plan for week 1. Week 1 includes 4 cardio workouts, and 2 full body strength workouts. I’m using a mixture of Cathe Friedrich workouts (where I got the rotation) and Tone It Up workouts. On strength days, I’m really supposed to do the cardio workout in the morning, and the strength workout in the afternoon, but everyone knows I’m not a morning person. I’m lucky if I can get up a half-hour before I’m supposed to leave for work. So right now I’m doubling up after work. The links below will take you to a preview of the Cathe DVD’s, and to the Tone It Up page that includes the TIU cardio workout.
Party Rockin’ Step #1
Spring Into Summer
Low Impact Circuit – Cardio Blast (Premix 1) **doneMaking Waves Cardio
Step, Jump, and Pump Weights Only premix
Low Impact Circuit Body Sculpt Premix **done
I did the Low Impact Circuit workouts last night.
Now – every week, on Sunday (nights), I’ll be posting how my week went, including what I ate. On Mondays I’ll be posting my plan for the upcoming week. And then there will be room for other fun stuff on days in between there. :)
Last night I used my new grill for the first time. It was a little intimidating at first. I live in an apartment building, and the yard that you see there is like a courtyard, so there are apartments all around me. Kind of like a college dorm, really. So I was worried about people watching and making fun of my non-existent grilling skills. I made some chicken breasts for my lunches, and a couple hamburger patties. It went well, but I had a little trouble with keeping the briquettes hot. I think next time I’ll use more. But I’m so excited to be able to put this in to good use this summer! It’ll definitely come in handy when trying to prep healthy meals!
And then there are my starting stats. Here they are.....
As of 6/18/2014
Left Arm - 12"
Right Arm - 12.5"
Upper Chest - 40"
Chest - 40"
Ribcage - 37"
Waist - 37.25"
Abs (love handles) - 43.75"
Hips - 42.5"
Left Thigh - 24.5"
Right Thigh - 24.75"
Not a pretty sight. I still have my measurements from back in September of last year, and I've gone up everywhere, with an exception of my thighs. My legs have always been toned. I'm assuming from all those years of dancing. But I have noticed they were starting to get less toned. Can't let that happen!!
I didn't weigh myself. I don't plan on weighing myself for a while. Maybe once a month? In the past, the scale has really made me lose motivation and set me up for failure, so I'm trying to stay away from it as much as I can.
That's it for today. Happy Wednesday everyone!